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It’s getting to be that time again…

27 Jan

Time to think about annual IEP reviews.  I know many teachers are still working on their GAA’s, but you need to be finishing those up and turning your sights on your next big thing which is IEP annual review season.

I don’t always agree with everything she posts, but Carol Sadler is definitely someone that is worth following on Facebook.  And she recently posted this:

Advocates Advice – We are quickly moving into “IEP Season”. Time to get your year end IEP meetings scheduled and on the books. Better to get scheduled in advance to make sure you have time to invite your help. Be sure to notify the school you will tape record the meeting and ask for a Draft copy of the IEP “that has been updated” with their proposed PLOP’s, accommodations and goals/objectives. Take the time to compare the Draft line by line to last year’s IEP to see what they changed and what they are proposing and make sure it is appropriate.

If you are a teacher and reading this, your hair might be turning a bit white or falling out.  Or you might be tempted to start pulling it out.  Let me tell you that what she is suggesting should be a matter of best practice for competent teachers.  Getting the meetings on the calendar early serves everyone well, and knowing who all is going to be attending will help secure a place that is big enough for everyone.

Tape recording the meeting (or using an mp3 recorder) is not a big deal.  If you are a teacher, bring your own to the meeting as well.  Both the parent and the district should be recording at the same time.  There is no presumption of privacy at these meetings, even though they are confidential.  You can’t podcast the meeting.  But by now teachers need to be getting used to being in the spotlight being recorded at any time, any where.  Transparency is our friend.  Stop being hostile to it, and open up your records, your mind, your intentions and your heart to the parents of the children you teach.  You might discover a wealth of rewards await you as the relationship transforms from confrontation to cooperation.

The idea of having a draft prepared a week ahead seems to always trip up teacher case managers. They can not seem to wrap their minds around the idea of moving their entire time table up one week.  You have to write this thing one way or another.  Stop the procrastinating and the excuse-making and just do it, and get it done.  You send it out a week or so ahead of time, with “DRAFT” written by hand in big letters, and attach a note “Please look over the enclosed proposed IEP DRAFT.  Please write down any concerns and/or suggested changes that you might have on the draft and send it back to me so I can include them and make sure they are acceptable to you before the meeting.”

Imagine an IEP that is less than an hour long, and everyone leaves the room smiling, and pleased and relaxed, feeling good about what just occurred.  If you have several annual reviews that are NOT like this then you should probably consider sending out your drafts well in advance so parents can look at them.  But aside from pleasing a parent, there are also other good reasons to move your time table up a week.  Remember you HAVE to write the thing regardless.  Why not do it well in advance when you can actually THINK about what you are writing instead of having that deadline looming over you?  You will discover that you make better choices and decisions when you are not rushed and pressured.  And if there are problems looming ahead, you have some time to begin addressing them before the meeting with the parents and the rest of the team.

I always did this as a matter of regular practice.  I always tried to get the draft done and out at least 4 days ahead of the meeting regardless of who the parent was.  If I get a parent making a request like Carol, guess what?  I move my time table up TWO weeks!  I want to swap IEP drafts, ideas and suggestions several times in advance of this meeting if at all possible.   If the parent is bringing an advocate, then I would rather the advocate look over my IEP, mark and bleed all over it with red ink and send it back however many times before the meeting, rather than rip me to shreds for hours in front of the rest of the team.  The advocate will have plenty of fodder for bloodletting at the meeting from other members of the IEP team but not me if I can do anything about it.

This is because the other members of my team balked at writing their portions in advance.  The occupational therapists, physical therapists and speech language pathologists have HUGE caseloads and I understand that.  BUT the workload is exactly the same whether you do it now or later.  I put all members of my team on notice as to the day the draft is going out.  It is up to them if they are ready or not, and 95% of the time, they failed to meet that deadline.

IEPs are exactly the same as alternate assessments that way.  If you procrastinate, you will end up under a huge backlog, and it will seem like a dark pit that you forever are trying to dig yourself out of as each deadline comes and overwhelms you.  You have got to get ahead and try to stay ahead.  Give yourself some wiggle room.  Waiting until the night before is a terrible choice that invites mistakes and trouble.

I actually attended one middle school meeting where everyone was there except the caseload manager.  When I asked the SLP where she was, I saw an eye roll and she whispered “She’s upstairs trying to write the IEP!”  This was a meeting that was already an hour late.  It was a good thing that parent was not paying Carol’s hourly rate!

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A Culture of Abuse?

8 Nov

“The Fulton County School System will not tolerate the mistreatment of any children and has strict policies in place to prevent such actions. We have hundreds of caring, devoted individuals who work every day with our students with disabilities.”

This is a statement made by a spokeswoman for Fulton Couny schools in a case where the system is being charged with neglect and abuse.  To be sure I have no doubt that a part of this statement is mostly true.  There are some caring and devoted individuals working with students with disabilities.  But the first part?

Let’s just say that Fulton County is not alone in having a culture where those who have the most severe disabilities are systematically marginalized, neglected and outright abused.  It is not an isolated case.  It is a systemic problem where several heroic and caring individuals manage to overcome a bias against these students and those they care for that is inherent in our present system.  To be sure, I think this is an extreme case that was allowed to go on well past what it should have.  Reports show that there were loads and loads of reports, interviews and statements by faculty and staff that this was going on.  You see stacks of CDs with videos with these interviews on them.  I don’t think anyone seeing this video can be anything other than outraged.  It truly makes my blood boil which is why I am so moved to blog about it.  And I am so close to the business as a parent and as former teacher of this population, it does touch a raw nerve.

So how could something like this happen?  There are SO many reasons…let me see if I can count them…

1. The students are nonverbal and powerless.  These students represent the most vulnerable segment in the entire school population.  They are vulnerable to anything and everything because they can not tell what happened when they get home from school.  Many of them can barely move.  They have severe and multiple needs including limited language and limited mobility.  They can not escape and can not fight back.  Actually, some of them can and try to escape and fight back in their own way, but they are largely at the mercy of who ever is caring for them.

2. These students (and the staff that care for them) are the most isolated group in the school.  If you want to create an environment for abuse and neglect, the recipe is fairly simple: Take a bunch of people, put them in a room together all day and then put some stress on them.  I’ll talk a bit about the stresses in a moment, but the isolation is one of the things that makes this so bad in so many ways.  Despite the provisions in the law for “least restrictive environment” the students with the most severe disabilities continue to spend their entire day in a single room.  Many do not even eat in the cafeteria.  With budget and staff cuts, community-based instruction is largely a thing of the past.  If the staff in Fulton County saw abuse in the halls, you can only imagine how hideous conditions were in that room.  There are reasons for the isolation and I should do a blog post just on that alone. But isolation provides a place where bad things can brew and incubate, especially given #1 above.  Students and their teachers need to get the heck out of that room once in awhile!

3. The staff are some of the most poorly trained and unqualified.  I have had a chance to work with and around some wonderful and brilliant people in the field.  Some of them were truly amazing, especially a lot of the paraeducators.  With a bit of training they really shined, and were tremendously good with these students.  And then the administration promptly transferred them somewhere else.  To be honest, many of them may have asked to be transferred.  But many did not.  As a rule, truly competent paras usually were moved into other settings outside of those who have multiple and severe disabilities. As a rule, teachers have little or no say as to which paras get assigned to their classrooms.  They are expected to be thankful for whoever they get.

4. Overcrowded and understaffed classrooms.  If you simply look at the numbers, you would wonder how something like that could be.  How could a class of 10 students in a classrom with 5 adults be overcrowded and understaffed?  Part of it goes back to #3.  If I had the most qualified and capable staff, I could do a lot more with a lot less, and that is the way I would prefer it.  More adults CAN add to more overcrowding and more stress. But each of these students demand total and absolute care.  It isn’t necessarily the ones who have the most impairments that have the greatest needs, either.  It is the combination of the physically immobile and fragile, combined with those who might be totally physically capable that causes many of the problems.  If I have 10 students and 5 are in wheelchairs, it takes 5 people to to push 5 chairs such as during a fire alarm or assembly or fieldtrip.  However if I have 5 kids who like to run, it puts the teacher in a dilemma about leaving the one child to chase after another.  So this leads to problem #1.  It’s simply easier for an understaffed group to hunker down in the one classrom and play ‘zone defense’.  By the way, the state of Georgia once had a class size limit of 5 for individuals with profound intellectual disabilities.  Since waiving class size requirements, class sizes and caseloads have routinely doubled for this population.  I know of a teacher who at one point has 15 students.  And no matter how many paras you cram into a room to help, each student needs direct 1:1 time with the teacher, something more than just changing a diaper.

5. The noise level adds to the stress and isolation.   These students may be nonverbal but they are not silent.  Not by a long shot!  I have had several students that could rattle every window in the hallway with their various noises and screeches.  And they would do it often, they would do it all day and they would do it LOUDLY!  Many of the most frustrating instances of abuse occur over the noise and the stress it causes.  And the more students in the room, the more the noise level increases and the more stressed it feels.  It’s not that these students are necessarily in pain.  Sometimes they are expressin happiness.  But sometimes they are verbalizing their own frustration and stress.  And sometimes I’ve found myself with some of the loudest staff on the faculty!  Talk about days where I wanted to just wear earplugs!  But that is a big reason why many of these classrooms are as far away from other classrooms as possible so as to not disturb those who are trying to take and pass a standardized test.

6. Where is the administration?  Probably not in the self-contained classroom where none of the students help increase AYP, the graduation rate, test scores, athletic prowess or college enrollments and scholarships.  The sad fact is, is that not many administrators know what happens in these classrooms.  Not many know what should be happening in these classrooms.  This is a different world where things are not as easily measured as bubbling in answers.  The principal in Fulton county should have known that students were not supposed to be pushed, hit, kicked and kept isolated in little dark rooms.  But she probably also had no idea what should have been going on instead.  Many of my observations were conducted in the lunchroom while we fed the students.  At least once, I had no idea I was being observed!  And my final year, the principal never observed me.  He watched this video and based his observation on that.  I had videos of me actually teaching that he could have watched, but he made me take those down.  I’ve tried to show people what I do, but the administrators frankly do not care that much...until something happens:

“Many schools do not have a sufficient number of students with disabilities to ‘count’ as a subgroup for Adequate Yearly Progress,” the auditors wrote. “School-based leaders could not answer questions regarding the performance of students receiving special education. Their answers included these: ‘I will have to look it up,’ ‘It’s not as good as they want it to be,’ ‘I can’t remember the exact number but it was not good,’ and ‘We don’t have to worry about the group because there are not enough to count.’”

And this often leads to them hiring someone who is unqualified because they are unsure of what ‘qualified’ looks like beyond the certificate….

7. The #1 question I get asked by teachers who are just hired and new to this field is “What do I do with these kids all day?”   Anyone else see a problem with this?  I think it is good that a new teacher reaches out and asks for help.  And I am more than happy to help them!  Teachers in this positon are usually pretty good at listening and taking direction and they pick things up pretty quickly and are able to run with it.  I have no idea the credentials of this Fulton County teacher, but I do know of at least one very highly qualified and experienced teacher who has been passed over  for jobs like this only to put someone less experienced and qualified into it.  Why?

8. Speaking out against abuse, neglect, inequality and discrimination will get you fired, it may make you unemployable and/or make working conditions more unbearable.  In an age of accountability and feedback, this is one area where the tolerance is very low.   Teachers who talk too much, who blow the whistle and try to point out injustice and outrage find themselves in big trouble in a lot of ways.  In the Atlanta Public schools we saw this before in the cheating scandal where the district tried to fire teachers and humiliated and intimidated those that tried to report instances of cheating.  I have tried my best not to be overly critical in my blogging of specific instances in my home district, but my advocacy efforts using this blog might be one reason why I am writing this at home right now instead of delivering outstanding services to students with disabilities at a school near you.

9. Parents have no idea.  And that is probably the most frightening thing of all, as a parent myself.  At least my children are verbal and can talk.  That doesn’t always mean thay will but at least they can.  So how can a parent know?  Sometimes their kids DO let their parents now through behaviors.  But mostly the parents of these students are in the dark, and the system likes to conspire to keep it that way.  See #6 and #8 above, and you see why a teacher who knows will not necessarily tell you.  Everyone in the building may know that your child’s teacher is horribly incompetent and abusive but you, the parent, will be the last to know.  Unless you sew a microphone in your son’s shirt collar.

10.” Something bad has to happen before anything will change.”  This is what a former principal once told me while I was sitting in his office.  We were discussing a letter that I had written and I was getting ready to send home to parents, telling them about what was going on in my classroom.  He was not happy with my letter because it was written in such a fashion that it made it sound like the district and the school cared less about my students than other students in the school or less than cared.  See #8 and #9 above.   That letter never did get sent out to the parents.  My job was to make sure nothing did happen, while the system was making choices that seemed to guarantee and foster an environment where something bad had to happen.

THAT is why I resigned at the end of that year.  I could not speak out and tell my parents.  I didn’t feel like I was being listened to.  I was feeling more and more powerless as things deteriorated.  Keeping bad things from happening was getting to be more difficult and more stressful.  I am not a pessimist by nature, and always seek to turn situations around by finding new and creative solutions to whatever problems may exist. But I was faced with a situation where those above me were pretty much going to continue to let things deteriorate until something bad happened and then who would be to blame?

The system is set up so that bad things have to happen before people are motivated to do anything.  And even then, sometimes they are reluctant to make the necessary moves.  Which of you would volunteer your child to be the victim of abuse, injury or neglect in order to turn things around?  I know the parents of Alex Williams would not have wished this on their own child for anything.  I don’t think Stefan Ferrari’s parents would have volunteered their child for mistreatment.  In both cases the school district is aggressively trying to cover up and defend itself and seems rather unrepentant throughout the entire process.

The environment in education today is ripe for this sort of thing to happen in a school near you.  Is it happening in your school?  In your classroom?  With your child?

What happened in Fulton County is happening all over.  Much of what is happening can be summed up by the term “Willful Ignorance.”  Everyone acts like it is all okay, especially those within the institution itself.  Anyone who speaks out is shut up and silenced and intimidated.  Heaven forbid we let one of these people who see the problems back into our organization!

Next time, I would like to talk about what a teacher, a principal and/ or a parent could do to minimize the risk of this sort of thing.  Are there things that could be done to prevent this sort of abuse and neglect?  Yes!  But for now, I’ll leave you with an informative video about the tyranny of positive thinking:

 

 

 

My Moodle Site

9 Oct

Someone asked me about it and so I thought I would share.  I have no idea how long it will remain up, since I’m not under contract there any more.  But it IS a resource that can still be used by those in the distract or anyone else.  But I have to warn you that this is not a very flashy or polished site.  It was designed to be a work-in-progress and it STILL is!

I’ve been involved in the internet and bulletin boards and usenet for over 2 decades.  I was SO happy when it looked like our district has something where teachers could build and collaborate together.  That tool was Sharepoint.  Each school had its own site and each department eventually had its own site within the school’s site.  I was excited about the ability to have discussions and share things with colleagues within the school, as well as possibly with teachers from other schools in the discussion forums.  But as it turns out, the discussion forums were the least-used areas of all.  No one posted anything except me.  To my knowledge, Sharepoint is still not a place where teachers share thoughts and idea, as they seem to still prefer and rely upon email.

So I began using it to store documents and anytime someone needed a form I gave them the url for sharepoint.  It was the perfect place to store forms or anything else that needed to be shared with everyone, but again, email is still the primary vehicle that is used for this.  Today, the school is beginning to use it as a repository for lesson plans, thanks to a technologically savvy assistant principal who makes the teachers put their plans there.

After about 5 years of being “the Sharepoint guy”, the one who was always trying to get teachers to use this tool provided by the district, I finally managed to make it the tool of choice for our special education department.  The killer app was not the discussion forums or even the file sharing.  It was the calendar.  Anyone could go in and edit that calendar, so that is how we began collaborating on an IEP schedule.  Each teacher could input their name, time and place and then another teacher who needed a meeting for that day could look at the calendar and schedule around what was already there.  As cancellations happened, it became easy to change and adapt the schedule.  Withing the department, it became a very important tool and I feel pretty good about helping them take advantage of it.

There are many better and more advanced Moodle sites than mine.  Anyone with any degree of creativity could make one more appealing, but mine was designed to do several tasks in one place, which is what makes this such a powerful tool.  In our district it is called eLearn, but you can clearly see the Moodle icon when you open up a tab to visit my site.  I also have other courses, but this is my main page and one that I still occasionally work and fiddle with.

I originally was going to make this a real course that new SID/PID teachers could take to orient themselves with the field.  Most of the course elements remain from when I took a staff development class on making the site.  I quickly realized that this was a much more robust platform than Sharepoint was for sharing and collaborating.  However the learning curve here was much steeper, so I still tried to get others into Sharepoint while I worked on my owm eLearn.

In the center is all the course materals.  Sorry if sone of the Teachertube links are broken but they are all still on my channel.  And the server does house a few videos not shown anywhere else.

On the right side, there is a calendar that is linked to my Google calendar.   The main use of this was to share with my paras, and anyone else who needed to know, my schedule for the coming week as well as the scedule for any outings that we had coming up. Again, the calendar is what drove most people to my site as it also had the school holidays and other events built into it.

Below that is just a few links that I would use most frequently as well as my mug shot.  HTML blocks are extremely versatile for customizing content even if you don’t know html natively…which would be me.  I also have a box for behavior terms which shows a random word out of a list of maybe 10.  But some teachers have “Video of the day” or “Word of the day” included on theirs.  On the left side I have an html block with resources that I, or other teachers, frequently use.  I just updated this last week as the paras wanted a way to get to resources for their brand new active board.  Since my site is open to anyone, they could go their regardless of whoever logged into the computer it was connected to.  Thus is was a way to preserve bookmarks.

Moodle is an amazing tool for teachers, students and parents.  My wife and I have often consulted the sites of our children’s teachers in order to see if there was homework, or if they forgot the worksheet atschool we could print it from the site.  But alas, most teachers still do not have their own site or do not update and use it.  At some point, it would be nice if they could all collaborate and pool their mental energy to create a grade and subject specific site.  But alas, despite a lot of lip service to the concept of “learning communities”, true collaboration becomes an afterthought if it appears on the radar screen at all.

The End of NCLB..?

25 Sep

On Friday afternoon, my wife called out to me “Hey!  You have to see this!”

And there on the news was a story about the waivers offered by our beloved national education secretary that would allow states to escape many of the more ornerous NCLB provisions.  Which is to say, almost all of them.  And the headline read “No Child Left Behind Ends.”

Could it be true?  Could it REALLY be true?  To me, this would be the educational equivalent of the the falling of the Berlin Wall.  Perhaps…just perhaps..we might see some real reform in education.  Meaningful reform.  Something besides the test scores.

Georgia is a state that has already delivered its waiver application.  Oddly enough, it was delivered by one of the authors of the original NCLB law, Johnny Isakson.  Remember him?  Basically, congress has not done its job in doing anything to fix this law simply because it is unfix-able.  It never was and it never will be.

Isakson was one of the original authors of No Child Left Behind. But last week the Georgia Republican sponsored a bill with other GOP lawmakers to scrap the adequate yearly progress requirement. No Child Left Behind requires that all students be “proficient” in math and science by 2014. Those benchmarks are widely considered to be unrealistic.

Isakson said that after a decade of implementation the law “has served its purpose in raising expectations and standards.””We knew when we wrote No Child Left Behind that if it worked, we would reach this point where schools would not be able to continue to meet AYP (adequate yearly progress) because the bar is set higher and higher each year for schools,” he said.

According to Isakson, they knew when they wrote the law, that schools would eventually all fail. The law was PROGRAMMED to fail!  These are the people we send to Washington and this is what drinking that water and breathing that air does to people.  And it illustrates perfectly why the congress has no business dictating federal education standards.  The law was destined for bankruptcy even while it was being written and the lawmakers who wrote it KNEW it!

But this is not the end of NCLB.  It is not the end of testing.  It is not the end of the alternate assessment that has plagued those teachers of students with multiple and severe disabilities.  There is still Race To The Top, which Georgia just received a year ago.  And those who are most saddled by a law that never had them in mind when it was written, will be the last to realize the benefits of this waiver.  That is because the waiver was also not written with these students in mind.  But hopefully what eventually trickles down will be no worse than what is already in place.

I am somewhat hopeful that the career and work-ready provisions might at least help those students who could be employable with enough and the right kind of training, when they would otherwise stand no chance of getting into a college. And yes, there are a large number of students where this is true; they will not be able to get into a college and they have no desire to do so.  But at least by fostering a culture of productivity and relevant skill-based training, it might prevent them from dropping out and actually give them an edge in life.  At the present time, the work skills of a college drop-out and a high school drop-out are almost exactly the same due to vocational funding and programs being cut and minimized in order to switch the focus to collage-ready.  And this focus has been particularly hard-felt for students with disabilities.

NCLB has been little more than an expensive and nightmarish public awareness campaign.  According to Isakson, they wanted to put a spotlight on poor performing schools and poor performing groups of students by raising expectations and raising standards.  But the law was outdated the day it was signed, as the world economy has been globalized.    We need innovation, creativity, enthusiasm for learning, entrepreneurship and exploration.  And these were exactly the things that NCLB has succeeded in killing with the standardized test-taking culture that saw the diminishing or elimination of the arts in education.  While the rest of the world has been learning how to solve problems and create, our kids have been learning how to fill in bubbles.

After Almost a Year…

12 Aug

I am back!  Sort of…

For the past year, I wondered if this blog was one of those things that was keeping me from finding a permanent position.  Someone might be offended by what I write here or perhaps it is just a little bit too candid for many.  But as I was reading my post about discrimination, I realized that squelching my voice is not the answer.  I gave it over 6 months of this blog being private and have nothing to show for it.  Perhaps I am just that bad at interviewing.  Or perhaps there is some other reason.  I have no idea what the reason is that I am not teaching right now, and no one has told me.

 

Last Summer, I interviewed for several positions that seemed perfect, hand-in-glove, to my experience and background.  And I saw at least one of those positions remain unfilled weeks after I had applied.  And this summer I see a repeat of that exact same thing.  There is the expression “better than nothing.”  And I am apparently not even THAT good!  When a school interviews me and then decides to leave the spot vacant rather than hire me, I have a serious, serious problem.  It would be one thing if I was uncertified or unqualified or had no experience or even some devastatingly bad experience.  But none of those things is apparent.  I seem to have a huge blind spot.

SO…waiting for substitute jobs and soul searching is where I am at the moment.  But I think I will write a bit about substituting, and other things as they come up because at least blogging about education makes me feel more productive!  If being an advocate for people with disabilities and speaking out against prejudice makes me undesirable as a special education teacher, than our public school system is truly irredeemable.

Sometimes It’s Fun

30 Aug

I know in the last post I made coming back sound pretty bad. And it was very seriously difficult coming back after having tried the most radical move I could to escape. The first couple of days, I did have a familiar dizziness and anxiety left over from last year. However, that has really dialed down as I get back into things. But I have made some changes in my approach and attitude that make a world of difference. It will all be good, no matter what the future.

When the new teacher came, she was not sure what to do so she let the paras take a lead. This is actually a good thing, because it helped the paraprofessionals form a more cohesive and competent team. When I walked in, they already had several things underway, and were doing all of the changing, positioning and feeding. It made me realize how much I needed to delegate down that I did not do last year. I tried to do everything last year, and it was frustrating me.

I also started the year last year loaded for bear even before the first student walked in. And then got more angry as the year went on! I’m not doing that this year. Yes, there are a lot of things to be angry and insulted about. But I can’t do anything about the caseload or class size. So, I just do what I can as I go along, one day, one student, one task at a time.

A saying I hear a lot is “Failure is not an option.” Interesting history behind that quote. It popped into my mind as I was working with a student on trying to see if he could read some words or be taught to read words. I was asked ab out what I was doing and why. He already did his GAA last year, so as far as accountability and academic standards, he could be counted as done. However, I simply had an innate desire to see what I could do with this student. I did it for the fun of it. A truly astounding concept in today’s educational climate, isn’t it? What sort of teacher does anything in the classroom for the fun of it, if it is not going to be on the almighty test? Especially when the likelihood of failure is pretty high.

Me.

I figured I had little to lose by working with this student, who enjoyed what I was doing with him, and it was worth a shot. The results are still inconclusive as to whether he was reading any of the words, such is the nature of working with nonverbal students. I’m talking words like go, up, more, down, come, and get. He can understand somewhat if you tell him to ‘get down’ from his chair, so these should not be too far out of reach if he is able to discriminate between the words. Anyway, failure is a total option in this exercise, but it is still worth doing. I can still learn a thing or two by doing it, which makes it only a failure in a conventional sense.

These are just the rambles of a teacher who is messing around and teaching…sometimes just for the fun of it!

Divine Humor

22 Aug

There is a very real reason why this blog has the name that it does.  There is the life that we think we choose for ourselves and then there is the life that seems to choose us.  And there are things that happen that we could not possibly make up.  And this is one of those.

A week ago, I got a call from one of my paras….one of my former paras…saying that they could not find the switches and AAC devices.  This is a very big deal since ALL of those students are nonverbal and all acces to any curriculum relies on switches and devices and such.  I remembered packing them up but not exactly where I had put them. They said they would keep looking.  2 days ago, they called again, saying they still had no idea where they were. I made trek in and sure enough, the devices were in the storage closet where I left them.  The kids were all there and some sort of seemed to recognize me.  It was a bit weird being there everyone was okay, and I began the process of trying to help a rather shell shocked and overwhelmed teacher what there was there for the each student.  This was not a new teacher, she is a veteran, but very new to this particular population.  No one walks in knowing just what to do.  And then the new speech teacher, who did look young and new, walked in and I began talking to her a bit about the kids and how speech had worked in the past.  All in all, it was me simply slipping into the old familiar role.  But after an hour, I was able to walk out and go home to wrestle with ideas on how to market myself better.

The next afternoon, the call came.  I finally got an offer for a job.  Not just an offer, but it would be fair to say that I was cajoled and woo’ed.  I don’t know if “beg” would be too strong of a word or not.  But I was asked to come in.  Real soon.  And so, tomorrow is my first day of work in my new job!  Actually it is only a temporary longterm sub job.   But it is a job, right?  Got my foot in the door!

Thing is….this is the same exact door I walked out of just 3 months ago.  Yes, meet the new boss!  Same as the old boss!  I have my old job back.  It would not be an understatement for me to say I have VERY mixed feelings about this.  I left to find something else.  And I am still searching.  Suffice it to say that God obviously thinks I have something yet to discover in this particular spot, with these particular students.  It looks like we will be together again, for good or ill.  So let’s see what we can do.

The odds are the same as last year…in fact the job is even more daunting if that is even even possible, than when I left.  So, I’m rolling up the sleeves and working on getting psyched to go in show ’em how it’s done.

Again.